Intro
“Most trilogies end with a bang. This one ends with several thousand.” OFFICIAL SCRIPT By: Brad Shoemaker and Nick DePalma INTRO: The dark void of space. Looming into view is a huge spaceship. The camera pans through the inner workings of the ship to a control lever. The lever is pulled by a robotic hand, launching a salvo of missiles. The missiles attack a fleet of small ships, decimating them. In the carnage, one ship stands out, the “iconic” Icy Dark Black Hand of Death (IDBHoD) Headquarters- a white dome atop a rocky earth chunk. The dome is being bombarded with missiles and tiles are falling off. Zoom onto the HQ’s window, where Deep Voice Guy, the leader of IDBHoD, is looking out. DEEP VOICE GUY: (tense) Who will save us now…? The camera zooms out above him and out the dome. It keeps zooming out, entire galaxies fit the screen, eventually forming the B in “BAMF Studios”. Below it is “presents”. The holes in the “e’s” turn into a zombie’s eyes, and it shows a large mob of zombies lumbering towards the abandoned shed from The Scarying 1 and 2. The door breaks open, Manfred McManlison steps out, and cocks his shotgun. MANFRED: Me. The next sequence has the opening credits in a stylized fashion (ex: blood splatter making a name) with Manfred being a badass. Manfred shoots a zombie in the head and it falls dead (again). He shoots 3 more behind it. Tosses the shotgun down, awesomely whips out dual pistols, shooting in slow mo. Zoom in on empty shell flying in the air, see zombie in the reflection of shell. Manfred shoots zombie without even looking back. Horde of them running behind him, Manfred lights a cigarette, puffs it, then tosses it behind him. When it hits the ground, big fireball with Manfred walking away slowly. He walks forward, shooting more, with one hand twirling a pistol, and the other shooting, then he switches. Manfred shoots a bullet, camera follows the bullet as it goes through a zombie’s chest. Camera pans to show Manfred through the bullet hole. Only one zombie remains, and Manfred’s out of bullets. They have a mini-Western standoff, and Manfred rolls up his sleeves. The zombie charges, and Manfred roundhouse kicks him to kill him. Thus ends an amazing battle. But… it was all a dream. Manfred jolts up out of bed. MANFRED: DAMMIT! He grudgingly gets out of bed (which is in a underground secret bunker in the IDBHoD Headquarters, which is grounded on Earth) and gets his clothes on. He walks out to the main living quarters, where Thongledore (who looks like The Situation from Jersey Shore with the Dongledore beard, hat, sunglasses, lab coat: but sleeveless, and a pink banana hammock) and Sheriff Badass (who looks like a cowboy, but he’s actually a pansy) are waiting. IDBHoD is there, consisting of Deep Voice Guy, Huge Black Guy, Hippie Guy, German Guy, and Reasonable Guy. They all wear dark black hoods. DEEP VOICE GUY: Now that you’re all up, you’ve got work to do. Get your asses movin’. MANFRED: We’ve already lost 3 on our quest: Techy’s dead, and Peter and McGregor are gone. (Techy was the technical specialist, Peter was Manfred’s best ally, and McGregor was a ridiculous gun-totin’ maniac). And not ten hours ago we found out that everything we thought was actually a lie! BADASS: Yeah, it’s like we’re in the middle of some bad horror movie ripoff. HUGE BLACK GUY: You shut yo’ cracka ass mowf (mouth). MANFRED: We’ve dedicated our whole lives to kill The Monster, just to find out that THE ANDYBIRD IS EVIL?! WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?! DEEP VOICE GUY: Wait, you guys didn’t know that the Andybird was evil? Jeez, you’re all a bunch of idiots. Cut to Thongledore munching on his beard, complete with ridiculous sounds. DEEP VOICE GUY: I mean how could you possibly think that we weren’t talking about the Andybird when we said “The Monster”?? The Grüp looks annoyed, and then agrees that they need to go investigate. They grab their coats (Thongledore gets another lab coat) and then they step into the rain outside. Through the door, voices are still heard inside. REASONABLE GUY: You know… wasn’t there a thing called “The Monster” that they went after…? Wouldn’t that be why they were so confu- He is shot. DEEP VOICE GUY: Shut up, Jim. Stop being so reasonable. Back outside, Manfred, Badass, and Thongledore brave the storm. Camera pans up to show a massive skyscraper with a gargoyle on it. On the gargoyle, something is watching them. The Andybird. Zoom onto its new robotic eye. The eye shoots a hologram into the sky, and amidst all the cool effects,something appears… '-TITLE-'